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Is it just me, or are monitor (the lizards) owners pretentious assholes? I recently got a savannah monitor, and had a question about taming them down, and how fast you can expect this to happen in young animals, so I went to varanus.nl and varanus.net, two forums for exactly that.

I post my situation/question, and the responses I get all make me feel like I’m a fucking moron and shouldn’t own an animal, much less a monitor. I neglected to mention my animal is captive bred, and one poster responded assuming it was wild caught. I corrected them, but they came back with “you’re obviously wrong, it’s clearly wild caught.”

*sarcasm*

Oh yeah I forgot, NOBODY breeds savannah monitors, and everything in wild caught. And I totally didn’t buy it from a reputable dealer who obtained the animal from a reputable BREEDER in Ontario. Oh yeah I forgot about that, and the fact that I’m completely clueless and this person knows everything.

*sarcasm off*

Okay maybe the animals you buy are wild caught because you don’t know how to ask, or don’t deal with reputable people, but if it was wild caught or captive hatched I would’ve continued my search, as there are captive bred animals available.

Another poster suggested i give a basking temperature of 135-150F…um…now, I’m no expert, but damn that’s hot. They also suggested I close things up so the heat doesn’t escape. Oh, and to also have a cool side of 75F. Now if I try to accomplish all that, something will not work. Even if I wanted to hit 150F on the basking spot, which I don’t, the cool side would be waaaay fucking hotter than 75F. I’m sorry. Maybe you are thinking of the large enclosures you keep adults in, but my little baby guy is not in a 4′x8′ enclosure. I can’t have that large of a temperature gradient. Maybe they just don’t understand physics/chemistry that well.

Another poster made the suggestion that if I want a nice calm lizard, get a bearded dragon. Okay I realize monitors are harder to tame down, but I’ve personally seen and interacted with tame/docile individuals. I agree that even though they are tame now, doesn’t mean it won’t change, but really! I didn’t say I wanted my animal to tame down to the point where it plays dead, I just don’t want it to fucking lunge, huff, hiss, and tail whip anytime I walk by it’s enclosure.

One poster said “Give him back his uv, thats not whats making him aggressive.” Okay. Fine. Please give me some fucking reference. I’ve got half the world saying they need UVB, the other half says it’s doesn’t matter. Where is your justification for your statement, you dumb fuck.

The person who suggested the 150F basking ended their post with this:

Once that message has sunken in (and I’m not only talking about the lizard), it will be able to have a far better attitude.

If you can’t manage that, give the animal to someone who can.

Wow. Thanks for making me feel welcome on the forums. I hope you deal with people in real life better than you do on the internet. If you treat everybody as though they are a complete fool, you won’t go far, and you’ll just be sitting at home with your monitors all day long, with no friends.

Have fun you fucks, you can have your forum.

Posted by darkhelmet under Intraweb & Life & Reptiles |