Love and logic are two completely different subjects. In fact, they are flat out opposites. The problem is that logic pales in comparison. Love would beat up logic, slash the tires on Logic’s Mercedes, and then steal Logic’s hot girlfriend, and make her do things in bed which are illegal in some parts of the world.
The inherent problem for me is I am an engineer. I look for logic. Explanations. Reason. I think I’m destined to be confused and frustrated with love for the rest of my life, solely based on the fact I’ll be trying to answer ‘why’ questions all the time, with no answer possible. If you get an impossible question on your math assignment, you eventually find out, because the next class your prof tells you. If you ask your psychologist why something in this realm happened, all they can do is shrug. These people have studied this for years, and they still don’t have the slightest clue. You can’t even begin to form an answer.
This really causes me no problems falling in love. When you fall in love, the loss of logic and reason fall away in favor of happiness and sheer joy of having found somebody you connect to. It’s going the other way that’s the problem. When the other person leaves and cuts the connection without warning. Then you have a rogue fire hose effect. So many emotions are now flowing out of you but they have nowhere in particular to go. You might try to close the hose, but then all these feelings build up inside you and mix around. But they come out anyway. Depression, anger, hate, loneliness, despair, rage, and all the other worse emotions that humans can feel. It typically starts with depression, and the remainder become a product of that initial depression (Unless the breakup happened because of cheating, then it might start with anger. Other reasons for the breakup cause other initial reactions).
What makes things worse is if you see the other person progressing at a much faster pace than you are…oh never mind I could rant about this for a long time, but I won’t. Basically it just makes life harder on you, because it’s easier on them.
So now the big question: what the !@$% are you supposed to do? Nothing. You can’t do anything in particular except live. Continue on with your life. Hopefully you have a couple of hobbies to help. Play video games, watch movies, play musical instruments, go hang out with friends and have a few drinks (don’t get drunk by yourself, but getting a little trashed with some friends while you’re having fun is totally cool), ride your bike, run, read, clean your house. Do something to keep you busy. At the same time, however, don’t shut these things out. You will cry. You will feel like shit. Talk about it. Talk to friends. If it gets really bad, go talk to a psychologist. As much as the other person might hate it, you have to talk to them to (situation permitting). Whatever you do, do not jump into another relationship. This WILL go badly.
This is all I can so far. It’s advice I’m taking and, while some days it really doesn’t feel like it, it does help. With some time, you will be able to love again. You might be able to continue a friendship with the other person. But right now is not the time.
I apologize to those I’ve hurt. I don’t mean to take things out on you. I’ll get better, stronger, faster, harder and life will be alright again. Thanks for being there when I needed you the most.
Thanks to all my friends who’ve been there for me. I appreciate it beyond words.
Posted by darkhelmet under Life & Women | No Comments »
