Archive for June, 2007

Apologies

June 13th 2007

A couple days ago I made a post dealing with breakup reasons. I had finally accepted the reason and was getting more content with my situation.

The actual post however, was very poorly written and sounded like a slap in the face. I was informed of this and after re-reading the post I realized my failure, and removed it, due to its inappropriateness and hurtfulness towards another person.

What was said cannot be taken back though. All I can say is I’m sorry.

At the time of writing, nothing I had written came out like it did when I thought about it and re-read it. I am sorry for what I have done, and hope that one day I might be forgiven.

I am not proud of what has happened the past while. I’m not proud of many of things I’ve done. I’m certainly not proud of the feelings I have produced in another. I feel like dirt, and it’s my fault. I am sorry to those I have hurt.

Posted by darkhelmet under Life & Women | No Comments »

Times Like This

June 13th 2007

It’s times like this I wish I didn’t have a job. I could just go home and hide. Or get out of the city and go some place nobody could find me for a little while. It’s times like this I wish I had no friends or family, so that I would not affect others. It’s times like this I wish I didn’t have a blog, or any email addresses, or a phone. It’s times like this I wish I did not exist.

Hopefully, it’s times like this that make me stronger. Hopefully, times like this don’t go on forever.

It’s times like this that make me regret. It’s times like this that make me scream, and worry, and be afraid. It’s times like this that prohibit rational thought.

I wish I could go away in a time like this.

Posted by darkhelmet under Life | No Comments »

Done Digging

June 13th 2007

I’m just going to put down my shovel and shut up.

Posted by darkhelmet under Life & Women | No Comments »

Ruby Rake Tutorial

June 12th 2007

Ruby is sweet. I should use it more often.


Rails Envy: Ruby on Rails Rake Tutorial (aka. How rake turned me into an alcoholic)

Posted by darkhelmet under Programming | No Comments »

Life’s Fine Lines

June 10th 2007

Life has a number of fine lines. Today we’re going to talk about one of them. Love.

Love is bizarre. You can be so in love with somebody, the rest of the world could fall apart and you wouldn’t notice, but you’d notice if their bangs sat differently than they did yesterday, even though they styled their hair the same way. You’d be able to tell their mood and why they are feeling that way by the sound of their voice alone, but that client could spell it out in big block letters a 4 year old could understand and you still might need to look at the PowerPoint slides again.

This is quite possibly the best part of life I have seen thus far.

But with the best parts comes the worst. Maybe things aren’t so great for the other person. Maybe they need a change. Maybe you’re not at the same point in life they are. Maybe they can’t even explain it, but something is wrong, and you don’t see eye to eye. Now you move from love, this epic high point in life, into depression and loss of love. This now, is quite possibly the worst part of life I have seen. You’re on top of the world, but something made you trip, and now the world is on you, and it hurts. Reason and logic are not found in this world. Only pain and suffering.

Thankfully, despite being the worst part of life, their is still hope. Through all the darkness and sorrow, a hand reaches out and helps you up. It keeps you going, and shines a little bit of light down there. Eventually this hand helps you back into the real world and life continues.

The hand takes the form of many things. Friends and family, counselors and psychologists, coworkers, music, hobbies, and sometimes rebound sex all contribute to this great hand. You will still cry once in awhile. You’ll have down days where it seems hopeless, but between these times, hopefully you’ve been helped up a little more, and you don’t fall down as far as you did before. The hole has gotten smaller. The hand helps you climb, but it gives you a bit of a safety net too. You’ll fall back down many times on your journey back to normality, but at least you don’t fall all the way back down (hopefully not anyway).

I just fell a little bit. But the fall wasn’t that big. It was kind of like falling off your bike, not like falling out of an plane…with snakes on it…

A friend picked me up and dusted me off. Thank you.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted by darkhelmet under Life & Women | 2 Comments »

Gamer Girl’s Diary

June 8th 2007

Well written article on girls in gaming.

SpawnPoint: Download PC Games, Free Video Games, Computer Games, Game Server Admin

Posted by darkhelmet under PC Gaming & Women & Xbox 360 | No Comments »

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